Title:
Leaving
Author: Am-Chau Yarkona
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: These characters are not mine.
Summary: Trapper leaves, and thinks.
Packing
my bags, leaving my home, weeping for the ones I'm losing, fear and pride and a
kind of broken happiness for what lies ahead.
Why
isn't it whole? I ask myself. Why isn't it real?
And
Hawkeye's voice in the back of my mind (the only place he'll have, now-- though
my heart is his in part) says, "Nothing's real except the drink and the
blood. Here-- let me top you up."
I
left once before; left home, left Louise, left my girls and my life. Now I'm
going back, but it's not really a return. It's another leaving.
He'll
just have to deal with my absence as best he can, as I'll deal with the
Hawkeye-shaped gap in my life.
I leave a kiss with Radar and go to catch my plane, and I tell the people who ask that I'm weeping tears of happiness.